Shameless Fiasco...

I had to write this no matter how un-populist it may sound...

So 'Slumdog Millionaire' won 8 Oscars. A most note worthy achievement indeed. I have personally not watched the movie because I have an aversion to over hype; but maybe when the hype dies, who knows... Anyway, this post is not an appreciation of the said movie at all. If it's anything it's an exercise in deprecation.

Let's get one thing straight- 'slumdog Millionaire' is a British movie...full stop! It is not even a collaboration, unless you take the nationality of the actors into consideration- which would land the entire exercise of crediting a movie into s@#tty waters. A British- american-mexicano- latin-german-....you get the general idea. Danny Boyle, the director and the man of the moment, is a UK resident and has no Indian citizenship.

With that set straight lets get on to the point. Why in hell is every other Indian news media and even the UPA trying to take credit for the movie? Why in tarnations name I ask?!!!! This question has been eating away at my mind for the last few days and left me in a nail biting tantric state. Without having ownership of a particular quality called utter shamelessness I can not imagine any Indian coming forward to claim the honor.

Well and good the actors have done a geat job and have been deservingly, but considering the nature of the Oscars debatably as well, won accolades for it. But that is not reason enough to jump on city scapes and announce brazenly that it is India's moment. Shamelessness really does very poorly at describing the current mood here. Let's for once sit down and think reasonably. Isn't it being unfair to Danny and his directorial and script writing team the way India is Hijacking his moment? I mean the poor chap must be feeling guilty to take credit for his own work, given the stratospheric jubilation here in India by everyone from the news media to the UPA!

The most damning of everything is the fact that the UPA government has also raised it's me-me flag. Without being disrespectful in the least, might I ask a simple question. Did Sonia Gandhi act in the movie? Or perhaps Amar singh aided Danny Boyle in the direction? Or maybe the spot boys were UPA workers? Nada! None of that happened. Then why, UPA, why, demean yourselves and the entire nation by making such ridiculous and half assed claims?

A paper, which unlike certain others exercises restraint and posesses that rare gift called common sense, carried a feature that quotes a distinguished person. He says that rather than the nation's achievement it is a celebration of individual talent and I very well agree with him.

Indians have for long lived in extremes. We are quick to crown someone and equally quick to throw the same person to the wolves. Maybe what we really want is a sense of identity...

A DATE WITH PENELOPE CRUZ

Today's paper says that Penelope Cruz does not have a date for Valentines this year... I would be more than willing to make myself available; what's more I'll even give her a rose;-)

I'm anti-establishment to the extreme. Rebel without a cause might describe my state quite aptly, yet, even that coinage stops short of being complete. I do not gripe against conventions for lack of things to do. It is my identity rather. I'll always seek to find the hidden path.

So needless to say valentine's day ticks me off. I say, why glorify a particular day when all it works out to is an excuse to be attentive one day and indifferent the rest of the year. Or in certain cases as an excuse to get into someone's pants... My displeasure would perhaps not be as evident if the capitalization of the day was not so severe. The appeasement of Mammon is sickening and revolting- utterly.

It is in itself a rather sweet idea. I mean why on earth should I protest the expression of love? The interpretation and practice of the theory is what riles me! 1 Corinthians 15 is so starkly in opposition to the way people celebrate Valentines now. It is showy, decadent, selfish, self-seeking and above all hypocritical.

Why then, you might ask, do I volunteer to be Penelope Cruz's date? The possibility of that happening is as good as Haley's comet deciding to do a 5o year advance appearance, but still, why? The reason is simple really- she's the bomb! And if the excuse of Valentines is the only chance in a million, make that a trillion, for me to spend a day with her, I'd glady betray myself and half the world. Hypocritical? Exactly why I dislike Valentines!:-)

ASHES OF TIME

Last night i watched this work of art by Wong Kar Wai, and I was quite overwhelmed. Wong Kar has long been renowned as one of China's most prolific Cinematic exports, and this movie proves it.

The plot is not the most important thing here, nor is the action which to be honest left me feeling a little disoriented because of its jerkiness. The key to understanding and enjoying the movie is instead in the art of storytelling that Wong Kar Wai employs. Through a roughly one and a half hour duration some seemingly disconnected personalities are woven into an awesome climactic sequence.

Partly a study on the nature of human emotions, and partly an examination of personality types, the movie succeeds on both counts for me. The dialogues are neither too obtuse or esoteric, nor too one dimensional; which is the same for the characters themselves. I suspect that much of Chinese folklore and philosophy has been interwoven into the movie.

The cinematography is first rate. Certain scenes look like they would have been perfectly at home among one of Ansel Adam's best photographs; and coming from a Photography fanatic that's high praise. The beauty of the desert is not cosmeticized( this btw is not a real word!) but presented in all it's cruelty and quiet tenacity.

The characters are played excellently by some Hong Kong heavy weights. I think that Leslie Cheung and Tony Leung steal the movie through their stellar performances though. Tony Leung in particular occupying very little screen time proves that long does not necessarily mean better. Props to all the cast though!

I always desist from elaborating on the plot in my reviews because I feel that it is for the viewer to discover for themselves. What I can say without any prejudice is that Wong Kar wai deserves every accolade he gets. very few movies leave me feeling half satiated and craving. This was one of them.

There are some very strong, but covert, sexual allusions in the movie. See if you can spot them; perhaps that'll tell you how observant you are:-)

Watch it!