HOW TO BECOME IRRESISTIBLE!

Do you want to know the number one rule of becoming irresistible to women/men? Well if you really are desperate for some gyan read on.

For starters this is not based on research of any kind. The only basis for this writing is something far less daunting- simple commonsense, and not to mention plain experience. I am actually amazed at all the trouble people go to, to prove the most mundane things when commonsense more than suffices: they even have researches on the connection between too much speaking and hair loss- actually I am being too creative here, but who knows!

So then a friend mourned his absolute lack of luck with women. I naturally asked him what he thought the problem was. Poor guy thought it was because he was not very rich- which I will have to agree he's not. But anyway though being loaded is sure an incentive, to the wrong kind of girls I may add, I told him that it was far from the truth. If all women ended up with rich men what chance do down and out guys like us have, eh. And in any case even the condemned need hope!

So I, who by the way fancy myself to be a part time philosopher, let him have my gyaan, unsolicited or otherwise.
The number one rule is...(trumpets accompanied by the blowing of horns and the sound of a heavenly choir)- BECOME INTERESTING!
Was that a little bit of a letdown? Well, don't be down because there is logic here.

The cardinal sin in the game of courtship is to become too self involved. When you become too self involved, you end up spending too much time thinking about your negatives and weaknesses. This while it obviously does no good to your self esteem, also leaves you with no time to develop your personality. On the contrary you even lose the positives because good social skills are learned through practice like any other skill. And what you learn you can also forget. What I suggested to him, that too with a fool proof guarantee, was that instead of spending all his time wondering what the problem was and uselessly worrying about it, he should make an investment- in himself.

I know this for a fact that most guys would rather spend time with someone who's interesting. Yes, a woman who looks like a cross between Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox will have our undivided attention even if she has insect brains. But not for long! The fact is that after the initial period of attraction it is the personality of a person that becomes far more involving than the appearance or bank balance. The same can be said for women too, though this might seem to be a blatant generalization. Correct me if I'm wrong ladies. Everyone prefers to be with an interesting person who does not speak nonsense every time they open their mouth.

Believe me when I say that the human personality is like the real estate business. You will get your returns in proportion to your investment. And in this case what you invest is time. Get busy finding your interests and start working on it. You will most certainly surprise yourself with what an interesting person you really are.

Ok, here are a few practical pointers,

1. Find something that genuinely interests you. It can be anything from books to jazz or culture, but find an interest. Ok, on second thoughts lets rule out collecting soiled socks- that'd be disastrous I have to admit no matter how much it interests you! Now gather information about this interest of yours and build on your knowledge volume on the subject. Before long you'll realize that you do not have to struggle to find a conversation topic anymore. It goes without saying that having varied interest naturally makes you that much more of an interesting person to know.
2. Do not take yourself too seriously! The reason for this is that doing so makes you self centered and therefore unaware of how others are reacting to you. Have a sense of humor not only where it concerns others but also when it concerns you too. You will discover that you have then become a more sensitive person.
3. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to make a few mistakes. This does two things. First it makes you come across as human, and secondly it takes off a huge pressure from yourself of trying to be flawless, which we are not.
4. Do not always react. Instead when the time is right ACT! This is a huge problem with most of us, and rightly so too. Some of us always seem to wait for the other person to act before we react. However, prudence and wisdom demands that we have to act too, as and when the occasion requires us to. Granted, the question of when and how to act is something that we can only learn through trial and error. But who said courting was easy?
5. The final pointer that I'd like to give you is - learn to live with failure! J.K Rowling recently said that her failures helped her become successful and I have to agree with her totally. I even came out with my own slogan ' Nothing prepares you for success like failure'. I do not mean that we should go around looking to fail so we can be successful. What I mean to say instead is that we should learn to look at failure with the right perspective. I like to think that facing failure is like being given a clean slate to start all over again! So be prepared for failure in relationships and courting too.

These are certainly not magic tricks but simple commonsense like I've already mentioned. And then I'll also have to warn you that if you have thoughts of trying them on a Hollywood celebrity you have a huge chance of being arrested on charges of stalking! So be wise and choose carefully because when it comes to relationships it involves so much more than the physical aspects. The magic words again are BECOME INTERESTING! But then again I've already told you that it's no magic... Ah, you try them and decide for yourself.

Ciao then and all the best!